Cartoon Cockroach

Starbucks Reserve Downtown now offers Live Cockroach Protein Egg Bites

Starbucks Reserve Downtown now offers Live Cockroach Protein Egg Bites

In case you missed the latest trend – Cricket protein is a thing. I’ve tried the stuff, it’s not bad, mostly tastes of peanut butter to be honest. I’m all for it if it means a more eco-friendly way of filling our bellies with delicious amino acids.

But what if I told you that Crickets are not the only innovative thing in this realm of science.

Enter Starbucks Reserve on Georgia and Granville.

Redditor MichyDo just posted evidence of Starbucks taking the insect protein craze to new heights, as they clearly now offer Cockroach infused Sous Vide Egg Bites. To be honest, I always thought the egg bites needed a bit of crunch to them.

The best part of the whole thing? It’s ALSO a workout, as the cockroaches are ALIVE, so you have to chase them around to eat them!

Gif of cockroach in food

I’m sure you’re wondering if this was maybe just a mistake, born of terrible hygiene practices and years of even worse coffee affecting the staff synapses, but one Redditor asked:

“Did she tell the staff? Pests and Rodents are common anywhere there is food being served.” 

To which the response was:

“She told the staff, yes. Unfortunately they just acknowledged it and kept working.”

So I’d say we can rule out any accidental pest issues and focus firmly on this being a strategic move from Starbucks HQ.

When asked for a comment on the matter, Founder Howard Shultz said:

“Who are you and why are you in my house. Take that bag of your head! I WANNA BE PRESIDENT”.

Cockroach lasso

Starbucks HQ gave this statement.

“At this moment in time we’re investigating the matter, we’re just grateful it wasn’t 30-50 feral cockroaches.”

I for one, welcome our new insect-based diets and look forward to the potential swath of superhero powers/illnesses I’m sure to receive.

Real Talk

For more information, including some amazing comments, check out the full thread here.

If you want to have a non-insect-infested coffee, skip the $tarbucks and head to the incredible Quantum, a block away (Trust me, they have no insects in their food).